Marriage is full of ups, downs, and everything in between, but one thing’s for sure: there’s always room for laughter. The daily interactions between husbands and wives often lead to moments that are both heartwarming and hilarious, as you’ll see in the following jokes.
1. The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there are bound to be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels taken for granted. This joke takes that scenario to the extreme, as a wife decides to teach her husband a lesson with a note — only to find herself caught off guard by his response.
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.” Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband came home, and she could hear him in the kitchen before he entered the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yeah, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy French nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the naughty things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread: be back in five minutes.”
2. The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, what starts as a simple misunderstanding can escalate quickly, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously highlights how a situation can spiral out of control when assumptions are made — until the truth comes out, leaving everyone in stitches.
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone!”
Angrily, the husband drove down to the chemist to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. However, before he could say a word, the pharmacist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.”
“I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I had locked the house with both my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened up, there was already a crowd waiting. All the while, the phone kept ringing off the hook.”
“Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make the change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins; the phone was still ringing. When I stood up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase full of perfume bottles. Believe it or not, all of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone was still ringing and would not let up, and I finally got to answer it.”
“It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer and believe me, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”
3. The Family Secret
Family secrets can sometimes be shocking, but they also make for some of the funniest and most unexpected stories. In this joke, a young man’s excitement about his upcoming marriage takes a surprising turn when his father reveals some startling information, leading to an even more hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George burst into the living room and proclaimed, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
After dinner, George’s dad took him aside and said, “Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mom, George. She and I have been married for 30 years. She’s a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he eventually started dating girls again. A year later, he came home and very proudly announced, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m awfully sorry about this.”
George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.
“Dad has done so much
