Sabine recounts how her sister-in-law, Amanda, and her husband, Jeff, invited Sabine’s family (husband David and daughter Ella) to their fifteenth wedding anniversary dinner, promising it would be “our treat.” Despite Amanda’s “performative” nature and penchant for drama, Sabine accepted, bringing a $200 cash gift.
The dinner took place at a fancy downtown restaurant. Sabine’s family ordered modestly (pasta, grilled chicken, and mac and cheese for Ella), while Amanda and Jeff, dressed to the nines, continuously praised the “curated” ambiance. However, something felt “off” to Sabine throughout the evening.
When the server brought the check, Amanda, with a “sweet, practiced smile,” calmly instructed the server to give her side of the table their bill and Sabine’s family “their one.” Sabine initially thought it was a joke, but quickly realized Amanda was serious. It became clear that Amanda had discreetly arranged for separate checks earlier in the evening when she spoke to the server.
Sabine, feigning a confused laugh, confronted Amanda, reminding her of the “treat” invitation and the gift they’d brought. Amanda dismissively replied that the invitation was “to join us. Not for us to pay for everyone,” with Jeff adding, “It’s just fair, you know?” Their family’s bill amounted to a shocking $1,122. David was furious but remained silent at Sabine’s subtle prompting.
Sabine realized this was another instance in a pattern of Amanda’s “generosity” having a hidden “catch.” She recalled past incidents, like Amanda Venmo-requesting $60 per head for a Christmas brunch she hosted, or RSVPing to Ella’s birthday but then texting last-minute that she was “not feeling well,” while her children still came and left with the best goodie bags and custom treats, without even a thank you. This time, Sabine decided she didn’t want an apology or the money; she wanted Amanda to understand the humiliation she inflicted.
The next morning, Sabine made a quiet Facebook post. She included three images: a smiling photo of Amanda and Jeff at the dinner, a screenshot of Amanda’s invitation message (“It’s our treat, honey. Just bring yourselves.”), and a photo of their $1,122 receipt circled in red. Her caption read: “Thank you, Amanda & Jeff! It was unforgettable, especially when the server brought us our bill. Apparently, the new “modern etiquette” means surprise billing your guests. Here’s some fun memories for the scrapbook! #modernetiquette #surprisebill #lessonlearned.”
Within an hour, the post went viral among their shared network, with other friends and relatives commenting on similar past experiences with Amanda’s “surprise billing.” Amanda quickly called Sabine, breathlessly demanding she take the post down, as Jeff’s coworkers were seeing it. Sabine held her ground, stating she posted “the facts, with receipts” and that Amanda had “humiliated us.” She emphasized it wasn’t about the money, but the “principle,” asking why Amanda hadn’t been direct about splitting the bill. Amanda abruptly hung up.
Since then, Sabine’s family has heard nothing from Amanda or Jeff, but found the silence “peaceful.” Unexpectedly, David’s younger sister, Mira, messaged Sabine privately, thanking her and revealing Amanda had done the same to her. The biggest surprise came when Sabine’s mother-in-law, Evie, called, calmly expressing approval: “Good for you for standing up for yourself. She needed to hear it from someone.” Evie admitted she had been telling Amanda her behavior would catch up to her.
Sabine concludes that people who claim to love you might use that love to guilt you into silence, but sometimes, the only way to be heard is to speak louder. Amanda tried to teach Sabine a lesson in “modern etiquette,” but Sabine made sure Amanda learned one instead.